Not The Best Day Ever..

Let me see if I know how to start this off....

ok.

I've never really been the one to let be bother me about my race, but it annoys me a whole lot when a FRIEND does it.
Today at lunch, Krystyn (another person who THINKS she's in T.F.R.W) brought her phone out, and started video taping everyone, for only who knows why. Then we she got to me, she said,
"LOOK AT THAT BLACK WOMAN.!"
Everyone gasped and started laughing, but I didn't think it was funny at all. Everyone stared at me like I was some sort of creature that crawled from underground and it made me feel 2 inches tall v_v
I decided to leave, but she grabbed on to me and I tried to get her off, but she just kept laughing thinking it was a joke, and it made everyone else laugh. I felt just so embarrassed, mad, sad, just all of the above.I'm not at all ashamed of who I am, i just hate how people have to point out my only one true difference from my friends.

I went into the library (most of me and my friend's retreat spot), and just read.
Now there's a difference so your friends know what to do in case of your mood change (i figured this out in 7th period and it made sense to me):
WHEN YOUR SAD: you NEED you friends with you. If they're not, you feel like they don't care.
WHEN YOUR MAD: everyone needs to back off cause hovering around them will annoy them.

 I started crying when (hooda-thunk'it?) Adriana comes out of nowhere. We aren't really the best of friends, we've had our arguments and all, but she is still a friend. She pulled out her book and asked if I could read with her, and I said sure, (how can you turn someone down when you feel so alone?)
we just sat reading in silence, but to be honest, it was the most comforting thing I felt all day.
It's good to know I have a friend to be there.

I texted my mom after lunch to come pick me up.

I've been know to chicken out whenever something little happens (i've did this 3 times this year), but that's only because I don't know how to handle it. I can't think of the things I should say when it happens (not a quick thinker and doesn't do well in arguments) but after it's over, I think of all these things I could've done or said and I shake my head and sigh.

If an argument happened:
I text.

If someone talks about me:
I text.

If I just wasn't having a good day:
-you guessed it-

When I got home I explained to my mom, and suprisingly, after bugging her all weekend, she actually understood. Yeah she said I need to stand up for my self more, and stop the bs when it happens, but she actually understood. She said she went through the same thing when she was in high school (hooda thunk'it???). I started crying again, not because i was sad, but just because I was happy because I now know sorta who really cares.
#thanks.for.reading